You know it's amazing when you start something and then before you know it, it is like you were always doing it. The other night our two big kids Eli and Ebony went to Nan and Grandpas house for a sleepover. Rand and I had a nice hot Thai soup for dinner and while he made it chatting with Logan I had a shower. As we ate, we laughed at how quiet it was. Rand asked if I remembered when we had no kids and it was quiet... and you know I remember lots of things we did alone, but it is truly hard to remember them not being here.
I know there was a time when I put on a nappy, and after enough time had gone, or Logan was going to bed etc, I would change it. Now I don't actually even really like putting a nappy on him... strange huh! I mean I did it that way for two other children,and not a single part of it ever seemed strange. It is really like not knowing something,and then once you know it, you can't 'unknow' it. I remember learning Dutch, and looking at others thinking it was like a bubble and I just couldn't wait to be able to get my head in. Then before I knew it I was in the bubble, and I couldn't remember NOT being able to understand what people were saying.
Randall said to me today, why do you want to 'toilet train' for so long anyway??? Interesting question, but easy to answer really. I'm not toilet training. That implies I am training him so that in x days/wks he will be able to take himself to the toilet and my job is done. My intention is just to care for him as I do with everything else. I feed him, put him to bed,bathe him change his clothes, clean his face after eating and toilet him. I simply give him the opportunity 'NOT' to wee or poo on himself if I can and it is possible. 'Hmmm" he said, OK,with a smile.
I guess in many ways it is a bit like the sign language (which we didn't do with the other two)and RB has come around to it, but sometimes still laughs and thinks it is funny and wonders why. He is a sponge and everyday learning probably a million new things, and one day he will start to sign back to me. Then he will probably add signs at a phenomenal rate and away we'll go. Whenever that is -7 months to 10/12 months, it will be because of what I am doing now. I know that if I started then knowing what age he would begin, he wouldn't start that day cause I showed him. It is a bit like this with the EC. If I start to unteach Logan to go in a nappy at 18months, there will be a delay in working that out and gaining control etc. AT this stage he is automatically learning that the toilet (or another apt place like a potty etc) is where we go,and I am sure he would already prefer to have a BM in that seated almost squatted position that standing upright (or laying as the current case may be) and pushing it against a nappy. For me the benefit is obvious, far less pooey nappys to clean, and a VERY easy bottom clean after. I am confident (even with any setbacks) that he will be somehow signalling to me (even if I am giving significant assistance to the process) between 12 and 18mths. Then it comes down to semantics as to when he is officially tted. He may not be able to have his clothes on and take himself when out without accidents till after 2, but hey what toddler doesn't have accidents and need help with the details? We will hopefully avoid any constipation issues or 'where does the poo go' question or concerns.
I love surprises. You know one thing with this journey, and the surprises can still be significantly small, but they are still awesome. I guess as time goes by they progress too. Although I daren't take a single toilet break for granted, it's a little something beyond my expectation that takes me by surprise and delights me.
I guess I should give an example. The other night RB was home early enough to get out in the garden with the kids and plant a few more veggies in their patch. I had dinner ready and told them to come in in 5. In the meantime Logan woke up. I had put him in a nappy about 1/2 hr before he went to bed. He woke after about 45mins as expected, and was still dry (yep that still always gives me a kick everytime). I thought OK you must need to do a wee. Nope,nothing. I left him 10mins finishing up with dinner. Still nothing. Dinner was then done and going cold. I called them all in again to clean up. RB gave them a quick bath. I was starting to obsess... thinking if I put trainers on him,as soon as he sits at the table with us, he will wee... surely he can do one. I must have offered 3 more times in 10 mins or so... as I went for the last one I thought... what am I doing???? This is not what I want to do... if he doesn't wee now, we can just sit up, and be done. No wee, no probs, popped trainers on and up we sat. About 15mins into dinner (and he hasn't weed now for maybe 1 3/4hrs to 2 hrs) he gives us a bit of a grunt like he maybe want to go. RB and I look at each other and I jump up, and take him to the loo. To my amazement he was STILL dry, sat straight up and did a 1 and 2. Then came back to the table. After we finished I bathed him and put him in his night nappy. Night done...
Sorry it was a bit lengthy that story, but like I said such a surprise! I have now made (6) and altered (4) and bought 2 pr of training pants so I have enough for him to be on them during the day if I am at home. If I miss a wee in between offers, I just change his pants. One day this week he wore the same pair between 8am and 5pm, woke dry both sleeps and when we went out (for about an hr) I had him in a nappy which was wet when we got home. I missed a few wees in the am and after 5 another... but that is the closest we have come yet to a totally dry training pants day. In fact on Fri Vicki and the kids were over for the day.We took the kids in the arvo up to the school for a play. We were going to go just close by and decided after we left to go to their school. For the first time I took him out in trainers and just carried him in the sling. We were the only ones at the school. Logan had done a wee just before we left. I offered once we got to school and he went again.After we had been there for abit he did a pop off and I felt he needed to go again, bu had brought NOTHING. Vick said you need one of those doggy bags like people take when they walk their dog. Now interestingly they have them at school, so knowing we were alone, we figured lets see. Vick grabbed two (we needed 'wipes' LOL) and of course he did his business, I wiped his bot, and away it all went in the bin. Now maybe this is me getting a bit 'weird' about the whole thing, but in realistic terms... we were discreet, clean, if we had an 18mo training and they needed to go, I really don't know what we would have done other than trying to tell them to hold it. He atleast didn't go in his trainers (and believe you me it was not one you'd want to have to clean up) and we made the trip successfully home. Now Vick and I thought this was quite funny/amazing/clean and good. Unfortunately I think I have gone too far for Randall with that one. I certainly wouldn't have done it, if we weren't alone or it was during term... but if you're travelling I'm sure there are many people who have had to use the roadside or bushes and just tried to be as discreet as possible.
Anyway, to finish off... I am truly enjoying the journey. I was LOVING raising Logan before, but I think this has added a whole new dimension. I also hope that this is sort of teaching an oldish shall we say tradition to Eli and Ebony for their future.AND I love NOT washing out pooey nappies!!!!!!!! Yay!
Till next time, happy ECing. This long weekend I am enjoying some quality one on one time with each of my big kids. Ciao!
